she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize