i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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