It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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