his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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