We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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