so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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