Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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