she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
