I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
