Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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