I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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