so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
