I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
