Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
