no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize