i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
