Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize