question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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