He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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