The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
