Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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