Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize