Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
