it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
