he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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