hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize