We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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