The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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