speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize