I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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