You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
