my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
