Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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