We won't sleep together?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize