no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
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Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling