Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
