His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
