What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
