Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
this just has baby written all over it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
