he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
