I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
