have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
