Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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