So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
