I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
