doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
