I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize