my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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