I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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