you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
