jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is not my ceiling
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
