Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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