in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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