I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.