i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
