And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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